Android: There are updates! You should update me! You should use a wi-fi connection and update me.
Me: Okay, I'm trying to connect to the network so I can do that.
Android: Okay, you can manually check for updates when you're ready.
Me: I'll do that.
...
Me: Okay, I'm connected to the intertubes, why are you saying there are no updates to install? You just said--
Android: Because I've hated you for years.
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